Thursday, January 27, 2011



As I share these latest
mixed media pieces with you,
I want to share a bit
of my mental battle.
Because really,
if I only post the creations,
one might think I blissfully
create along
with no struggle.
But I want you to know
that I fight for what I believe in
in my own head
on a regular basis.

So . . .

Just being real,

today was one of those days that

I decided to confront

some of the nagging thoughts in my head

about art ~ painting ~ photography ~ writing.

About me in those roles.

To acknowledge the thoughts were there.

Write them down and bring them to light.

Expose them.

So that I could see the truth.




There is that voice inside me

that lacks self-respect and confidence

for my own strengths.

Is it just me?

Or does anybody else

have a voice in their head

that sneaks in and condemns

the very things that are loved,
that I have deep interest in and passion for,
even the things where I am strong.


 


The thought-voice is

like it is dismissing me.

As irrelevant.

Unimportant.

Insignificant.

Pointless.




I live on a ranch.
But I am not a ranch-woman.
{I know, I know . . . whatever that means . . . a generalized stereotype}
I also am not a super cooking, housekeeping homemaker either.
{another stereotype floating around in my brain}.

But I am a writer.
I am a reader.
I am a researcher.
I am an artist.
I am a photographer.
I am a mother.
I am a wife.

Even if I am not
officially
employed in any of those roles.




But, just being real.

These are some of the thoughts

that I struggle with.

As I learn to embrace who I am.

And who I am not.

And that it is all ok.

That what I am not

does not diminsh who I am.

That each of our uniqueness

is

relevant

important

significant

has a point

is intended

is on-purpose.

That includes me.

That includes you.

Be Who You Are
Be Real
Savor Life

I believe in that.
And sometimes
I
fight
for
it
in
day
to
day
living.

*
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Starting February 7!
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10 comments:

  1. Beauty abounds -- in this post, in you, in your creations. I struggle with these same thoughts at times. And, I think it so amazing that you lead with the first piece -- transformation because that is a word that has been in my heart recently.

    These thoughts are so real, so honest -- I would love if you would pray linking up with me on Tuesdays. You could even link this post next Tuesday. I think it would bless so many...

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  2. I, too have these thoughts...especially about my writing. I love to write...I live to write...I would wither away without my writing...yet I don't always believe in my ability. It is a struggle so many times. But in those times I turn to my Father in Heaven just like you and He knows the truth.

    Love your truth, Jodie....

    Sending you love today

    Leslie

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  3. yes, jodi...i too know of what you speak of...honey, it's ok, i wish i could give you a big hug. i think our culture, our society sends so many mixed messages to women. you just are who you are sweetie...god's best is within you, you are just tryin' to get to the core of it. i understand your struggle, especially when raising your children. needing to be so many things for everyone.
    you are an artist and at times i think artists struggle emotionally more than others! and when one makes a decision to live authentically, to be present, to be real...struggles are ever present because we are dealing. dealing with the muck, the messy life.
    praise god that he lives...
    love you...

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  4. beautifully stated. we all experience this I believe if we are honest. I just blogged about Anne Lamott and the writing or any creative process - it is just hard work and we expect it to flow out and if it does not then we think there is something wrong with us.

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  5. I love this post. Thank you for being so real.

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  6. You are here! So glad you made it! :)

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  7. This was beautiful. Thank you for sharing not only the beauty but the ugly. Something that I think that we as Sisters in Christ need to do with each other more. Reality is messy and ugly, but when we speak and share, His beauty radiates through it all.

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  8. this is so good. thanks for linking with jen! it is great to have you share with this community i love so much...

    this is 'taking every thought captive' isn't it? if we don't take the time to stop and look at what we're believing, it rules us, instead of truth.

    thanks for the reminder and for fighting for truth! how we need it:) nice to 'meet' you too!

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  9. Finally making my way around all the blogs listed over at Jen's! So glad you linked up today. Wow, you are amazingly talented.

    No, it is not just you! That voice sometimes tries to beat me down too. It tells me that she is better, and she is better, and that girl is just out of this world better. Creating can be tough. Are you following any of the posts over at Emily's Chatting at the Sky? She's talking about this very thing!

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  10. So lovely. All of it. Your art. Your words. Your heart. I can relate to this in so many ways. I'm so glad you linked up.

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Welcome ~ share your beautiful thoughts.