Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Walk In Love

~from my journal 1/31/2011~

When you ask Erin what she wants to be when she grows up,
she answers with one of three things:
a princess, a basketball coach, a doctor.
She will be four years old on March "twenty-two" as she says.

Today I came home from church with a headache.
Seems I don't get minor headaches,
only major,
"pull the shades and put a pillow over my head
give me silence and darkness"
"I'm worried 'bout you, Mommy."
Erin says.

That afternoon, Erin had been her normal
boisterous, stubborn, high-spirited, loud self. 
I could hear her on the other side of the door with Tom and Syd,
with her vehement protests when she didn't get her way.

But then I heard the door softly open.
It was Erin.
"Hi," I said quietly. "Will you come snuggle with me?"

"Where do you hurt, Mama?" she asked softly.
She planted a magical kiss on my neck where I pointed
and patted my collar bone with a tender, gentle hand.
"I'm so sorry you don't feel good."
Nodding her head with big sincere eyes, she said,
"I promise I won't let you die."

Touch.  A soft voice. 
I was amazed at the healing in that.
Those simple things.

And then, all with soft footsteps and voice,
here is what she did:
*brought me her Goodnight Moon book and whispered,
"I found it under my dresser.  It's a great book."
*"Oh!  I'll get you my blanket to snuggle.  That will make you feel better."
She sweetly, gently brought her favorite blanket
and tucked it under my cheek.
*"I'm going to get you something special
Something breakable
And I'm going to give it to you."
She came back with a Cinderella button pin from Disney World
that said "happily ever after",
which she had gotten off of her special, breakable shelf
in her bedroom.
I knew without seeing her that she had
"risked her life" and
climbed up on her sister's dresser to get it.
*brought me a picture she had drawn of me on yellow construction paper,
and said, "Here this is for you," lying it on my stomach.

Every so often she would pat me with her little hands.
And I was amazed.
Amazed at the healing of touch
and a soft, gentle voice.
Amazed at the healing of sweet gifts.
And amazed at her loving compassion for me when I felt bad.
She was gifted in this.
And she was giving from a very special place within her heart
that was swelling with sincerity.
With love.

I was thinking that this is exactly what people need
when they are hurt, ill, sick, recovering.
This is healing.
This is compassion.
This helps.
This is love.

I remembered that she has said,
"When I grow up, I'm going to be a doctor."

"Yes," I thought.  "This is exactly the kind of doctor that people need."
One who looks into your eyes and says,
"I will help you.  I care about you."
And then loves you with their actions and words and touch
as they care.

Before she was done,
she had also brought me 
a pillow for my neck warmed in the microwave,
colored in a princess book beside me,
did a puppet show,
brought her photo book from Disney,
gave me a doll,
made a lite brite picture,
and brought popcorn.

I said, "Erin, you really make me feel cared for.
You are good at this.
You give me . . . "
I hesitated and started to say compassion
when she finished my sentence with
"Yes," I said, "niceness.  You give niceness."

When I came home from church that afternoon,
after hearing a sermon on binding up our wounds
and pressing on through the battle in our pain,
I had prayed.
"What would you do with this, Lord?
What are you going to do with me now,
with this headache
in which I am just laying here in the dark and silence?"

And this is what He did.
He showed me through my daughter
what love is.
What giftedness is with love.
How showed me her gift--
something from within
this high-spirited, determined, rule-resistant child
that was of Him.
Was a spiritual gift with love.
He showed me the power
of tender touch
a kind word spoken.
That it is indeed healing to the bones.

Gentle words.
In love.

This was
walking in love.

This is what I read at the womens retreat
leading in to our Bible study
last month
on "Walking in Love".
I had known that the Lord had led me
to write the study on spiritual gifts walked out in love,
but not what I would introduce the study with.
He gave me this experience
through my own pain of a migraine.
And I clearly knew
this was the real-life story to share
walking in love.


I love that He teaches me
about Him
and about living life
through my kids.


Finding Heaven

Honored to be linking up with Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood.


  1. My eyes are brimming with tears, one more line and I am sure they would have overflowed, cascading down my cheeks. Beautiful.

    And you make me pause: Would I walk through the door, my head pounding in pain, and ask the Lord how He would use this? Probably not, but now, I will.

  2. I can relate to so much of what you say, Jodi. I loved this...so tender and sweet. What a wonderful gift you have been given. Your talents and gifts are writing, sincerity, tenderness and love.

    I have had so many migraines throughout my life. They humble me each and every time and remind me of what's good in my life.

    Have a wonderful day.


  3. I love your sweet words. There is something so quiet beautiful about our children when the they are teaching us something. It is so vivid and real..so happy you caught it and then shared it;)

  4. this is so rich....and true and beautiful...
    sending love and hugs...

  5. What beautiful words to capture a poignant moment of life. I've found that children mimic their parents so I'd say she's felt this kind of love, compassion--oh yes, niceness--in her own life at your hands. I call it sheltering love. God has something special for a child with a heart like His.

    A post that will touch others--as they have me.

  6. Oh Jodi... this is so beautiful. You have the sweetest little girl. The pure love of a child is remarkable. We do need doctors like her. What a blessing HE gave you! ♥

  7. Having a child with the gift of "niceness" means you are a wonderful mother and you must point her to a wonderful God! She is so lucky to have you... I bet she can do anything she puts her mind to!!

  8. I too get those kinds of headaches. I understand.
    this is a beautiful post, when we can see our Lord through others. This blessed me.
    You also blessed me today when you left a sweet comment on my blog...thank you!

  9. I'm sorry that you had a headache but so warmed by the beauty of what your daughter did for you. Such a gentle and beautiful happening. Thanks for sharing.

  10. Speechless Jodi, your daughter, your words, the love of the Father that continues to teach through pain. I love it, all of it!!

  11. This is so beautiful, many tears, sniff, sniff.


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