Walk In Love

~from my journal 1/31/2011~

When you ask Erin what she wants to be when she grows up,

she answers with one of three things:

a princess, a basketball coach, a doctor.

She will be four years old on March "twenty-two" as she says.

Today I came home from church with a headache.

Seems I don't get minor headaches,

only major,
"pull the shades and put a pillow over my head

give me silence and darkness"
headaches.

"I'm worried 'bout you, Mommy."

Erin says.

That afternoon, Erin had been her normal

boisterous, stubborn, high-spirited, loud self. 

I could hear her on the other side of the door with Tom and Syd,

with her vehement protests when she didn't get her way.

But then I heard the door softly open.

It was Erin.

"Hi," I said quietly. "Will you come snuggle with me?"

"Where do you hurt, Mama?" she asked softly.

She planted a magical kiss on my neck where I pointed

and patted my collar bone with a tender, gentle hand.

"I'm so sorry you don't feel good."

Nodding her head with big sincere eyes, she said,

"I promise I won't let you die."

Touch.  A soft voice. 

I was amazed at the healing in that.

Those simple things.

And then, all with soft footsteps and voice,

here is what she did:

*brought me her Goodnight Moon book and whispered,

"I found it under my dresser.  It's a great book."

*"Oh!  I'll get you my blanket to snuggle.  That will make you feel better."

She sweetly, gently brought her favorite blanket

and tucked it under my cheek.

*"I'm going to get you something special. 

Something breakable. 

And I'm going to give it to you."

She came back with a Cinderella button pin from Disney World

that said "happily ever after",

which she had gotten off of her special, breakable shelf

in her bedroom.

I knew without seeing her that she had

"risked her life" and

climbed up on her sister's dresser to get it.

*brought me a picture she had drawn of me on yellow construction paper,

and said, "Here this is for you," lying it on my stomach.

Every so often she would pat me with her little hands.

And I was amazed.

Amazed at the healing of touch

and a soft, gentle voice.

Amazed at the healing of sweet gifts.

And amazed at her loving compassion for me when I felt bad.

She was gifted in this.

And she was giving from a very special place within her heart

that was swelling with sincerity.

With love.

I was thinking that this is exactly what people need

when they are hurt, ill, sick, recovering.

This is healing.

This is compassion.

This helps.

This is love.

I remembered that she has said,

"When I grow up, I'm going to be a doctor."

"Yes," I thought.  "This is exactly the kind of doctor that people need."

One who looks into your eyes and says,

"I will help you.  I care about you."

And then loves you with their actions and words and touch

as they care.

Before she was done,

she had also brought me 

a pillow for my neck warmed in the microwave,

colored in a princess book beside me,

did a puppet show,

brought her photo book from Disney,

gave me a doll,

made a lite brite picture,

and brought popcorn.

I said, "Erin, you really make me feel cared for.

You are good at this.

You give me . . . "

I hesitated and started to say compassion

when she finished my sentence with

"niceness."

"Yes," I said, "niceness.  You give niceness."

When I came home from church that afternoon,

after hearing a sermon on binding up our wounds

and pressing on through the battle in our pain,

I had prayed.

"What would you do with this, Lord?

What are you going to do with me now,

with this headache

in which I am just laying here in the dark and silence?"

And this is what He did.

He showed me through my daughter

what love is.

What giftedness is with love.

How showed me her gift--

something from within

this high-spirited, determined, rule-resistant child

that was of Him.

Was a spiritual gift with love.

He showed me the power

of tender touch

and

a kind word spoken.

That it is indeed healing to the bones.

Sincerity.

Touch.

Gentle words.

Niceness.

Giftedness.

Giving.

In love.

This was

walking in love.

*

*

This is what I read at the womens retreat

leading in to our Bible study

last month

on "Walking in Love".

I had known that the Lord had led me

to write the study on spiritual gifts walked out in love,

but not what I would introduce the study with.

He gave me this experience

through my own pain of a migraine.

And I clearly knew

this was the real-life story to share

of

walking in love.

*

I love that He teaches me

about Him

and about living life

through my kids.

*

Honored to be linking up with Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood.