This is Part 2 of dealing with migraines.
Part 1 is here: Backwards Steps
I'm taking steps.
Forwards and backwards.
The backwards steps are to strengthen muscles
to hold my spine in place
in various places,
in particularly, my foundation... my bum
and to strengthen myself into better health.
Prayer. Even imperfect, messy prayer.
Letting go steps.
Taking new ground steps.
Slowing down some things.
I am accepting.
Accepting that I do get migraines.
Accepting that they have robbed joyful moments.
Accepting the anger that has surfaced with that.
Accepting possibilities too.
Accepting that more tea and less coffee is better for me.
Accepting that I cannot keep up a certain pace.
Accepting that a slower pace does not mean poorer quality, but could mean better.
Accepting that there are times for good enough instead of excellence.
Accepting that excellence can begin with taking care of the little things
like my health,
or accepting that my health is a big thing
and not a
I am accepting myself.
Fully. Deeply. With love.
Taking time to walk
means less time for other things.
I am learning to accept that this is ok.
I am learning
to be kind and gentle
instead of harsh and critical
in my thoughts
and time frames
If I continue to do
what I have always done,
I will continue to receive
the same things.
I have to do some things differently.
this will be a path
to being headache free,
or at least,
rarely having them.
I am learning to listen
for the voice of God.
Speaking to me of
unforced rhythms of grace,
rest for my soul,
keeping pace with Jesus,
working with Him,
recovering my life.
I am seeking help.
Unique techniques for emotions and pain.
Changing pace and attitude.
From the inside out.
Whole person help.
Not just one part.
I am learning
to nourish my
body, mind, soul, spirit.
I am learning that
is humbling and human
not prideful and selfish.
I am learning that when I do not
nourish my whole self
my body screams at me to
It is that starvation of
self from good nourishment
that steals the joy from
That stealing is through things like
pressure for perfection,
doing everything alone,
expecting myself to have all the answers,
forgetting who I am in Christ,
working hours on end in a chair,
thinking harsh, pressure laden,
frantic, anxious, critical thoughts.
I had a moment this week
when I had this vision pass through my mind
taking me by the shoulders,
looking me square in the eye,
with love and understanding, but firmness,
"Just stop it. Stop doing this to yourself.
I am not expecting what you are expecting of you."
Matthew 11:28-30 came to mind as I walked this week.
The phrasing in The Message.
“Are you tired? Worn out?
Burned out on religion?
Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.
I’ll show you how to take a real rest.
Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it.
Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.
I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.
Keep company with me
you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
I'm learning that God's rules
are life giving
He is not the thief.
He is the one who came to give
I am learning that
of my human self
and His Word
to abundant life.
He WILL show me the path of LIFE.
In His presence is FULLNESS of JOY.
At His right hand are PLEASURES FOREVERMORE.
from Psalm 16:11
(my caps and paraphrase there)
there is this lie
I believe sometimes
exercise, nutrition, and God's way
steals my happiness, my joy.
But I am discovering
even just walking,
not a power workout,
a variety of good, nutritious, flavorful, simple food,
not complicated fancy recipes,
even just chewing on a few
of God's word,
just one small bite at a time
not engulfing the whole thing and theology at once,
And I can do it
step at a time
That's the pace
there is good news.
Down to one headache last week from three in previous weeks.
Much less pain medication.
Less painful adjustment this time.
My bum doesn't hurt as much.
It is getting better.