I am a reader.
I am a rule-follower.
I want to do the right thing the correct way.
I want everybody to be happy with the choices I make.
And here are the books that I ordered this week:
See a theme?
This is going to be tough.
Below are the books I am currently reading to my children:
The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
Dragons and Giants from The Frog and Toad Treasury by Arnold Lobel
On The Banks of Plum Creek by Laura Ingalls Wilder
Even Lisa Whelchel . . . when I ordered her book about Christmas
because I have been frustrated with what I'm teaching my kids
at Christmastime the last few years, when I ordered it,
I did not know
until last night
that she was going to be on Survivor.
I'm a Survivor fan . . . NOT a fan of them running around in their underwear . . .
but I like to watch human interaction and relationships
and looking for people with depth of character
and how they play this kind of game.
But I am an observer, not one who would DARE to do it.
But here is Lisa Whelchel, daring to do it.
I hope she makes it a long way.
I did not select ANY of these books because of an adventurous theme.
But perhaps I am in need of courage and bravery.
EVERY step of sharing writing, art and photography has required courage.
It was scary purchasing my first art supplies.
I even tucked them in a corner and didn't want my family to see them.
And I only wanted to make things when nobody was looking.
It is still scary.
I am embarking on reading Daring Greatly with some friends
(the CanAm Tas Philas which stands for Canadian American Sisterhood)
that I read through Nehemiah: A Heart That Can Break by Kelly Minter
with this summer.
Nehemiah was all about, yes, building the wall of Jerusalem,
but also about a heart that breaks for people
and finding what breaks your heart.
And alot about serving those people where your passion lies.
Whenever I hear Brene Brown speak,
I am on fire because I believe all this
vulnerability, authenticity, wholeheartedness stuff.
It is what I wrestled with myself and God for.
Yet is STILL so difficult to LIVE sometimes!
So I find out about Christine Cain who is a co-founder with her husband Nick,
of the anti-human trafficking organization The A21 Campaign.
Talk about UNDAUNTED daring courage.
But this cause ignites my heart.
Yet I am AFRAID of the things that God might call me to do.
Like Christine referring to Moses,
I don't want to be full of excuses for God like Moses.
I want to be brave and courageous and say,
Here I am, send me,
But instead I feel a bit like a reluctant adventurer like Bilbo Baggins
who just wanted to stay in his nice, safe, warm hobbit hole
instead of adventuring after treasures and dragons with 13 dwarves.
"Remember what Bilbo used to say:
It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door.
You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet,
there's no knowing where you might be swept off to."
it's the steps it takes to getting out the front door
that are the hardest to take.
Yet even Bilbo
was the one to urge them on with hope to keep going
once they were in the middle of their daring adventure.
I'm reading On The Banks of Plum Creek with Sydney.
I adore Laura Ingalls Wilder.
And who is more adventurous and noble and wholehearted than
Homesteading on the wild prairie.
Erin and I read about Frog and Toad often.
Wondering if they are brave like the heroes they read about in their books.
We think bravery doesn't feel uncomfortable.
That brave people feel this powerful, surging, strong, noble courage.
But is vulnerability
and working with passion
and having hard conversations
and sticking your neck out
and putting your heart out there in artwork
. . . isn't all of that
when we do it??
When Erin and I finish the story,
she looks at me with a knowing smile,
"But they are afraid, aren't they?"
And I say,
"Yes, but they do it anyway. And that is brave, isn't it?"
here is to
to God's call . . .
Here I am Lord
My knees and my voice are shaking.
But if You called little me to slay giants, You will make me a giant slayer.
You called Gideon, Moses, Mary, David . . .
You just might call me.