Digging Deeper Into The Pain

So last week,

I was feeling pretty great that I had gone 10 days

migraine free,

pain med free.

I'm still 19 days prescription pain med free.

But I had a headache 

Wednesday

and now

today,

pain.

However,

even though I have frustration,

I am at peace for the moment.

I am just curious

about why I hurt.

I am wondering what the message of the pain is today.

I'll be seeing both a chiropractor and physical therapist later today.

I am trying to give myself grace.

To do this "self-care" thing

imperfectly.

It is leading me to things.

Good things.

Taking care of my diet and getting exercise 

have overall benefits

for

my

life.

I am motivated

to do that

now,

even

if I still get the pain.

So I eat greens, greens, greens.

Three times a day:

spinach,

Romaine,

iceberg lettuce,

watercress,

whatever greens I have.

I have my B's:

B12, B6, Riboflavin, Thiamin, Niacin.

Superfoods.

Water.

Peppermint oil.

EFT ~ tapping.

Praying. 

I am trying to keep my mind and spirit

at a healthy pace.

This is hard.

But I am working on it

imperfectly.

I acknowledge all of it

in my writing and creating,

trying to lean into it, listen to it, learn from it

rather than rage against it

or numb it.

I am gently seeking

in the Bible,

looking at the birds,

and kindly

putting together creative opportunities

for others to join me

in the fruit

of this journey.

Not doing art,

not sharing and teaching also,

is just as stressful to me

as doing it at 

a frantic, pressured pace.

So I am putting one foot in front of the other,

carefully, kindly, tenderly.

Learning, sharing, preparing to teach again.

Some days are good.

I feel good and hopeful.

Other days are discouraging, painful, frustrating.

But that is the nature of life.

And today I am ok with that.

Digging deeper into my heart and mind,

beyond the physical

into emotional and spiritual

looking for clues in all of it,

that show me

how to be well,

live well,

work well,

love well.