I am sitting with four great kids.
Just about ready for high school.
My heart swells with passion
to believe truth
who He has made them to be.
Truth that I learn and choose to believe moment by moment.
That I have to be reminded of.
That comes so fresh to me some days
that I feel like I never knew it before.
And maybe . . . I did not.
We are reading Psalm 139.
We are learning that God is omniscient.
He is all-knowing.
And not just all knowing about the universe and the stars
and the flowers and trees and snow and wind
and oceans and microscopic germs.
But all knowing about
Oh Lord, you have searched me and known me.
He "gets" me.
The thought is big. It's "crazy". It is beyond our understanding.
It is a bit unnerving.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.
He understands everything about me.
What I do, what I say, what I think, what I feel.
Better than I understand myself.
And even after that . . .
"the good, the bad, and the ugly"
... who am I that You think of me?
Who am I?
That you care to take notice?
We can think that because He knows everything about us
that He is holding His hand out saying something like,
Stay away from me! Stay over there. I am disappointed in you.
I am angry at you. You stay away until you have gotten yourself together.
Stay away until you have cleaned yourself up.
Stay over there until you have proven that you are Mine, until you have shown
that you are worthy and obedient and can do it on your own.
What a shame, can't you get in shape?
Can't you get your life together?
Why can't you get out of that addiction?
When you've got it fixed, then you can come to me.
When you don't struggle with that sin anymore,
then you can come to Me.
Then I will help you.
We can think His hand is there held up like "Stop, stay away."
But instead of that,
He knows everything about us and His hand stretches out
Take it. Take My hand. Let me help you. Let me clean you up.
Tell me about it.
Tell me what is bothering you.
Tell me what you are struggling with.
And My hand will pick you up.
Let me love you right where you are.
I am for you.
I am on your side.
Let's do this together.
You can't do it without Me.
Let Me save you.
Cry out to Me and I will hear you.
Don't wait to reach for me until you look good . . . until you've got it all together.
Because that time will never come.
Let me lead you.
Come on. Take it. Take my hand. Come to Me.
I've got a plan.
"Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting."
We can trust that God is for us.
For the best for us.
And that He knows what will fulfill our hearts
more than we do.
And we can say,
here it is . . . here is what I cannot fix . . . here is what I cannot get together . . .
here is the one that I cannot seem to love even though I know I am supposed to.
here is what i cannot seem to stop worrying about.
here is what i am so very afraid of.
i'm sorry i don't believe you.
i'm sorry i don't trust you.
i don't believe in myself anymore.
i can't do it myself.
help me. forgive me. lead me.
And He will.
He knows me.
He knows you.
He knows the plans He has for you.
And they are GOOD.
They are always good.
Even when it hurts.
Even when it is hard.
Even when I don't deserve it.
Even when I haven't earned it.
He works it out.
He is good.