Walk In Love

~from my journal 1/31/2011~

When you ask Erin what she wants to be when she grows up,

she answers with one of three things:

a princess, a basketball coach, a doctor.

She will be four years old on March "twenty-two" as she says.

Today I came home from church with a headache.

Seems I don't get minor headaches,

only major,
"pull the shades and put a pillow over my head

give me silence and darkness"
headaches.

"I'm worried 'bout you, Mommy."

Erin says.

That afternoon, Erin had been her normal

boisterous, stubborn, high-spirited, loud self. 

I could hear her on the other side of the door with Tom and Syd,

with her vehement protests when she didn't get her way.

But then I heard the door softly open.

It was Erin.

"Hi," I said quietly. "Will you come snuggle with me?"

"Where do you hurt, Mama?" she asked softly.

She planted a magical kiss on my neck where I pointed

and patted my collar bone with a tender, gentle hand.

"I'm so sorry you don't feel good."

Nodding her head with big sincere eyes, she said,

"I promise I won't let you die."

Touch.  A soft voice. 

I was amazed at the healing in that.

Those simple things.

And then, all with soft footsteps and voice,

here is what she did:

*brought me her Goodnight Moon book and whispered,

"I found it under my dresser.  It's a great book."

*"Oh!  I'll get you my blanket to snuggle.  That will make you feel better."

She sweetly, gently brought her favorite blanket

and tucked it under my cheek.

*"I'm going to get you something special. 

Something breakable. 

And I'm going to give it to you."

She came back with a Cinderella button pin from Disney World

that said "happily ever after",

which she had gotten off of her special, breakable shelf

in her bedroom.

I knew without seeing her that she had

"risked her life" and

climbed up on her sister's dresser to get it.

*brought me a picture she had drawn of me on yellow construction paper,

and said, "Here this is for you," lying it on my stomach.

Every so often she would pat me with her little hands.

And I was amazed.

Amazed at the healing of touch

and a soft, gentle voice.

Amazed at the healing of sweet gifts.

And amazed at her loving compassion for me when I felt bad.

She was gifted in this.

And she was giving from a very special place within her heart

that was swelling with sincerity.

With love.

I was thinking that this is exactly what people need

when they are hurt, ill, sick, recovering.

This is healing.

This is compassion.

This helps.

This is love.

I remembered that she has said,

"When I grow up, I'm going to be a doctor."

"Yes," I thought.  "This is exactly the kind of doctor that people need."

One who looks into your eyes and says,

"I will help you.  I care about you."

And then loves you with their actions and words and touch

as they care.

Before she was done,

she had also brought me 

a pillow for my neck warmed in the microwave,

colored in a princess book beside me,

did a puppet show,

brought her photo book from Disney,

gave me a doll,

made a lite brite picture,

and brought popcorn.

I said, "Erin, you really make me feel cared for.

You are good at this.

You give me . . . "

I hesitated and started to say compassion

when she finished my sentence with

"niceness."

"Yes," I said, "niceness.  You give niceness."

When I came home from church that afternoon,

after hearing a sermon on binding up our wounds

and pressing on through the battle in our pain,

I had prayed.

"What would you do with this, Lord?

What are you going to do with me now,

with this headache

in which I am just laying here in the dark and silence?"

And this is what He did.

He showed me through my daughter

what love is.

What giftedness is with love.

How showed me her gift--

something from within

this high-spirited, determined, rule-resistant child

that was of Him.

Was a spiritual gift with love.

He showed me the power

of tender touch

and

a kind word spoken.

That it is indeed healing to the bones.

Sincerity.

Touch.

Gentle words.

Niceness.

Giftedness.

Giving.

In love.

This was

walking in love.

*

*

This is what I read at the womens retreat

leading in to our Bible study

last month

on "Walking in Love".

I had known that the Lord had led me

to write the study on spiritual gifts walked out in love,

but not what I would introduce the study with.

He gave me this experience

through my own pain of a migraine.

And I clearly knew

this was the real-life story to share

of

walking in love.

*

I love that He teaches me

about Him

and about living life

through my kids.

*

Honored to be linking up with Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood.



Working On and Working Through

Leslie at her Words of Me Project blog

http://wordsofmeproject.blogspot.com/

is uniting women in a 31 day creativity challenge

to create every day for 31 days.

This is day 2.

Here is what I am working on creatively along with my "vision board" posted yesterday.

I've been wanting to incorporate my photos

into some collage pieces

like scrapbooking, but for the wall.

So this is my first attempt at that.

Planning to mount the photos on balsa wood,

distress the edges of the photos,

use some paintsticks,

and create a 3-D piece.

And this is what I am working through.

This morning I pulled weeds and I prayed while I pulled weeds.

Poured out my heart to God really.

That is what I taught my Sunday School kids day before yesterday:

"Trust in Him at all times, O people,

pour out your hearts to Him

for God is our refuge."

Psalms 62:8

And I am always amazed that whatever I teach,

is taught to me and is for me.

After taking my "flying lessons" e-course,

I am feeling very overwhelmed with what direction to take.

I am a wife & mom.  That is consistent.  I love that.  I choose that.

But...I have these things calling my heart outside of that realm...

and I am overwhelmed by what to put time, energy, and, yes, money into.

And...the looming factor of how can I make money with these things calling me.

How can they or should they be more than a hobby?

Is it possible?  Should I even be envisioning that?

Because...well...we all need money, don't we??

And which one do I pursue right now

with a 3 year old daughter,

and an 8 year old daughter and 10 year old son?

From White Owl, South Dakota,

60 miles from the nearest town with a bank and grocery store?

Can I really do something with this...

with a heart for writing, photography, art, counseling the hearts of women and girls,

teaching the Word? 

A heart for ALL of these things!

About an hour after the outpouring of my heart,

I am going about my dishes or something mundane like that

and this is what I see in my mind:

So I quickly draw the sketch

of what I saw in my mind.

I believe this is significant.

I believe that we are all created with unique purpose and giftings.

Because we need each other.

And I am being bold in sharing this . . .

but I think this is a picture of where I am going.

I don't know exactly HOW right now.

But I am looking for it.  I am researching it.  I am taking little steps in each area.

Looking for a way to weave them all together.

I know that when I taught Bible School to pre-teens & teens

and that when I worked with the girls team

preparing the hand mime skit for the women & girls retreat

that I had the opportunity weave all of those together,

and I come alive in it. 

It is hard work and heart work

and I love to do the work it takes.

So that is a clue to it.

I feel like I am on a treasure hunt

and the treasure is my life.

I believe this:

"For we are his masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus

for good works that God prepared long ago

to be our way of life."  Ephesians 2:10 {ISV}

I am His art.

With a purpose that is good.

{Wow! Is that ever humbling, when I let my mind linger there a bit?!}

I believe I am in this process.

I believe that all who have believed in Christ are in this process.

And it is not always easy.

But it is worth it.

*

I also re-visited this video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rm_X4CNULCY

which is from Mars Hill Grad School in Seattle

{of all places}.

So, although I won't be uprooting and going to grad school in Seattle,

this video still resonates DEEP within my core.

The first time I watched it was about two years ago

when I was searching for works by Dan Allender whom John Eldredge had studied under.

{Anyone who knows me well, knows that I have read and often quote much of

John and Stasi Eldredge's books from Ransomed Heart Ministries

second only to the Word of God.}

And before the video was over,

my breath was taken away and I had tears streaming down my face.

It is a picture of other people who have weaved together

their faith with their interests and talents.

If they have done it, so can I.

THAT is what I am working through.

Photos and text copyright 2010 Jodene (Jodi) Shaw.

Mother's Day 2010

Erin Grace has been waiting for the dandelions to turn white. . .

we went to the yard a couple weeks ago to pick dandelions

I told her we could not pick them if she wanted them to turn white

And that we'd have to wait.

So she said, "Ok, let's lay down right here and wait."

At last, Mother's Day . . .she says, "Oh LOOK!  There's white flowers . . . and so I wrote the experience as my first entry in my poem journal {one of my projects from The Artistic Mother by Shonna Cole}.

And my Jim remembered the Robin's Nest necklace I loved from Hazelnut Cottage . . . 3 eggs for my 3 babies.  Yes, that's my pores, my scars, my wrinkles, and my new favorite piece of jewelry...took the picture myself.  I'd call it a "reverse macro".

Sydney Jo had a sweet little piggy that she made for me to go with the little lady bug from last Mother's Day.  And my son made lovely stationary that he hand-stamped.

~A beautiful day to be a mom~A beautiful day of life~